Dear Prudence: I think I'm about to totally reshape my life around romantic tourism. - Slate

Every week, Dear Prudence answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members. Submit questions here. (It's anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

I'm a 30-year-old white, straight-ish woman who is coming to you for guidance about traveling cross-country to put myself into more opportunities for love. I've spent my entire life in Washington state and recently let go of my Seattle apartment after over a decade to embark on a bit of a "bohemian year" that seems to be going on somewhat indefinitely, thanks to remote work. The question that I have for you is around love and romance while on the move. I dated aggressively my entire adult life in Seattle—I was on every app, I asked people out constantly, tirelessly busted through the Seattle Freeze everywhere I went, begged friends to set me up, etc., and I really feel that I worked every angle possible to put myself out there. Regrettably, nothing major ever took off, and when I looked around and realized that every single one of my girlfriends had taken the oath of marriage all of a sudden, while I had nothing of substance going on, it felt like it was as good a time as any to take my chance and launch out into the world rather than sit on my ass and wait for a magical partner to plop directly in my lap.

Nonetheless, I am eager to position myself to experience some element of a short-/mid-/long-term partnership in the next few years. Something about entering my thirties—I've really started to crave the experience of developing real romantic relationships, and feel saddened by the fact that I can't quite seem to land it, despite a deep desire to give and learn and grow from this kind of life event. I plan to have a family within the next five to seven years (recently froze my eggs and am making traction toward my goals that will allow me to do it, with or without a partner), and I would like to have more in the relationship column that would help inform me on the choices that that stage of life will throw at me. I've wondered for years if the West Coast is just not my best market and if I should take my talents to the South and see if I do better in a more diverse, perhaps family-focused/more conservative culture that may have higher numbers of the kind of man who may be a better fit for me. I don't have a load of experience in this region, but I visit New Orleans as often as I can because I have the most incredible love and romance of my YEAR every time I'm there, and I feel so much more welcome and wanted and sexy and valuable with Southern men than I EVER have felt in 30 years in the Pacific Northwest.

I wonder if I'm just better suited for the dating culture in the South—I'm a big, loud, colorful, curvaceous, FUN woman whose love language is all of the above and does not take herself too seriously, not to mention dates primarily men of color, so I've always felt like a particularly pronounced fish in a rather tepid pond in the PNW.

Unfortunately, my past two years of road trips through Europe, the Mountain West, the Southwest, the East Coast, and Canada have not proved more successful in drumming up any real traction for me beyond a few lovely casual trysts. Do you think it would be reasonable for me to embark on a multimonth Southern road trip for a shot at real love? Have you ever known anyone like me who intentionally dunked herself into a completely different culture in hopes of gaining access to the kind of men who may actually jive with her? And if so, do you have any tips on how to maximize a person's dating prospects while traveling through a region—setting up the kind of initial connections that, if nurtured, could potentially grow over time? It feels like a wild premise for travel, and tough to pull real results within, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything to not miss my opportunity at finding genuine connection and a shot at intimate love. Thank you so terribly much for your kind insights.

—Southern Romantic

Dear Romantic,

You know what? I think I love this idea. You sound like you know yourself very well and aren't afraid to admit that you want love. That's really impressive in a world that can make women feel like they're damaged or desperate if they don't already have the partner they desire. I think you have the right attitude. The one tweak I would offer is this: Rather than expecting to meet the love of your life or the person you will marry, go on the trip with the goal of simply finding romance and connection. Make it your intention to have experiences that can make you feel alive and affirm that you're attractive and desirable and fun. Look for dates that give you more information about whom you're compatible with, where you can see yourself living, and what you like. I say this because I just don't think it sounds fun to go from city to city laser-focused on finding your soulmate, being a detective about the commitment level each of your dates is ready for, probing about whether the guys want children, staring at your phone calculating the hours since the guy from Atlanta last texted you and wondering why. At the risk of sounding woo-woo, I think bringing that "I'm on a mission" energy might overshadow the colorful and fun qualities you know you have and get in the way of any connections you might make.

While you're on this journey, remember that compatibility requires more than attraction. Try not to have "Because of my race, size, and shape, men of particular racial backgrounds seem to go for me" in the front of your mind. If you sense that you're moving into generalizing or fetishizing when it comes to certain kinds of people and what they can offer you, remind yourself that it takes more than physical appeal to really connect with someone and that we're all much more than our race and geography. In other words, make sure you're after an individual, not a type. That said, there is nothing wrong with going where you feel wanted (in romance and every other area of life), and I agree that being in places where you have a reasonably sized pool of people who have even first-date potential will do wonders for you. This is, after all, kind of a numbers game.

Finally, tell your friends and networks what you're doing on this trip and ask for help. I think that will be beneficial for two reasons. First, people are going to want to set you up in various cities. Matchmaking is really fun! And second, an adventure like this is more enjoyable if you can focus on your goal but also on the amazing stories you're collecting. Knowing that you have a bunch of friends, bored in the Pacific Northwest, waiting to hear your tale of the disastrousness date in Birmingham or wherever will help you keep a sense of perspective as you embark on this very brave and creative adventure.

More Advice From Slate

I'm a dad to a wonderful kid, "Jay." He's 15 and honestly the best son my wife and I could ever wish for. We're also pretty sure he's gay. There are lots of clues: His "best friend" is an out gay kid who Jay talks to daily, and we have heard him ending these conversations with "I love you," he will watch any TV show with us if he learns there's a gay character, and my wife recently found a very telling internet search history while fixing a bug on his laptop. It is the search history that has broken my heart. He has visited a number of LGBT sites, specifically searching stories on the theme of "coming out to homophobic fathers." Prudie, I feel so ashamed.